I love short weeks!

I've often wondered who invented the weekend. Why do we work 5 days and then only rest for 2? I think a 4-3 split would be so much nicer! I love 3 day weekends! It gives you one day for chores and shopping, one day to play, and one day to recover!

Things with DP are okay. Not great, but okay. I've come to accept the fact that we would have fewer problems if I were not so lazy. I am lazy. I hate chores and housework and anything that requires more than a minimal effort around the house. I'm not sure why this is. I do blame some of it on my weight. For the last 8 years I have been heavy. I was never heavy in my life before this. My body is tired. It's a lot of work to carry this weight around. After the baby I MUST take it seriously and get back into shape! I blame some on depression. It saps my energy and motivation at times. But the rest I blame on my "queen bee" attitude. I say that for lack of a better term. I was not born privileged, yet for some reason I think I deserve to be? I don't know quite how to explain it right. I guess I feel like I should not have to clean bathrooms since I work all day at a job away from the house to support us. I want to be rich so I can hire people to help me. I feel so awful saying that because I know there is more to life than money. But money would make my life easier. But then I think that would just make me lazier. Why do I think I shouldn't have to work hard? It's complex, these feelings, and I'm not sure I am explaining it all right. But regardless, what I KNOW is that I have to let go of my silver spoon fantasies and accept the fact that we are working class folk! Oh and of course there is the fact that I like to get my own way and am not at all good at compromise.

I do sound like a horrible person. No wonder DP gets on my case so much. So we kind of made up and had a fairly nice weekend. But then I got lazy at the end and the house was a bit of a mess when I cam back to work yesterday which left her feeling a bit annoyed. It's a vicious circle with us. DP and I both tend to need others to motivate us and we easily become down if the other is down. For example, Saturday we had a lot of storms and we decided to delay shopping until they passed. DS went down for a nap and at that point we SHOULD have done some housework. But DP has a cold and was resting on the couch so I decided to take a little rest too. Well that turned into a nap for all 3 of us! We just don't push each other. We give in to each other's weaknesses. DP claims to be a hard worker - and when she is working she is - but she can be just a lazy as the next guy. I just need to keep writing about it all. I need to get it all out before I can begin to put the pieces back together again.

It just shows more and more that I need 2 blogs - one for me and one for the good stuff. I fear I am holding back on the personal stuff because I don't want people to see the real me. Yet that defeats the original point of the blog.

On a happier note, I'm still in shock that I am pregnant. I am nervously awaiting that next ultrasound. I know it will bring some assurance that everything is okay. I'm still having waves of nausea here and there but for the most part I'm doing well. Now I need to get focused on what needs to be done to get ready for the baby. The time will pass quickly!