I haven't had much time for writing. I haven't been feeling well and it has been very busy at work. I'm going to be out of the office until next Tuesday and I doubt I'll have much time for writing from home. So,
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
I'm so Thankful for DP, DS and the new baby and a good job with a kind and supportive boss. It's especially good to have a nice job in this economy! I'm thankful for a warm and safe home and my little family.
Wish this was a better post but it's time to go home to that wonderful little family!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
More thoughts
I forgot a few things. The baby won't cooperate at the ultrasounds. So we still don't know what it is. The doctor thinks that due to a lack of obvious boy anatomy that we have a better than 50% chance of it being a girl. But really the baby's legs were tight together so what looked like a vagina could just be a smooshed scrotum - lol. Maybe we'll get another peek in December!
I also started my progesterone therapy and my once a week appointments. I put in a formal request to work from home on all appointment days. I've been requesting it as they come up but now that I'm at once a week I figured it was silly to ask they same question every week. I'm am so grateful that both my bosses thought it was a fine idea. I had to sign a standard telecommuting agreement, but it's no big deal. My boss also, unbeknown to me, approached our department head about me having a working at home maternity leave since I'm only going to have a few weeks of earned time. He said yes! My boss is a working mom and she used to work for a great company where you got paid maternity leave and did not have to use vacation or sick time. I can not believe how much she is supporting me and I am so grateful! Because we work with money we have security cameras and those of us in offices don't have walls that go all the way up. Well my boss checked and with my door closed you can't see in my office so now I'm all set for pumping at work. I had been really worried about it. But she said not to, if she had to, she would adjust the angle of the camera. She pumped at work for a year - can you believe that? But I'm so excited to have the support for whatever I need. I've been having some more personnel issues that have been getting me down and it is a great feeling to get this support from my bosses!!
I've got so much to get organized. I didn't feel well yesterday and I just got this ominous feeling that I need to get ready. I need to be ready to work from bed rest at any minute. We have to get the house in order. I have a plan to be ready January 1 and hopefully the baby will cooperate and if I have to go on bed rest, it won't be before then. That will put me at 23 weeks which is two weeks shy of when I started having problems the last time. My hope is that over my Thanksgiving break we can FINALLY finish the floor in the bedroom and get it all back in order and get the garage done. Then over the Christmas break we can get the baby's room done and the playroom and new office space done. Then once we get our tax refund, we'll be able to put the cabinets in the laundry room and reorganize the kitchen. Let's see, I don't know why I'm so anxious about needing to be ready. I guess because it came out of nowhere the last time. I'm trying to have some control this time around.
I also started my progesterone therapy and my once a week appointments. I put in a formal request to work from home on all appointment days. I've been requesting it as they come up but now that I'm at once a week I figured it was silly to ask they same question every week. I'm am so grateful that both my bosses thought it was a fine idea. I had to sign a standard telecommuting agreement, but it's no big deal. My boss also, unbeknown to me, approached our department head about me having a working at home maternity leave since I'm only going to have a few weeks of earned time. He said yes! My boss is a working mom and she used to work for a great company where you got paid maternity leave and did not have to use vacation or sick time. I can not believe how much she is supporting me and I am so grateful! Because we work with money we have security cameras and those of us in offices don't have walls that go all the way up. Well my boss checked and with my door closed you can't see in my office so now I'm all set for pumping at work. I had been really worried about it. But she said not to, if she had to, she would adjust the angle of the camera. She pumped at work for a year - can you believe that? But I'm so excited to have the support for whatever I need. I've been having some more personnel issues that have been getting me down and it is a great feeling to get this support from my bosses!!
I've got so much to get organized. I didn't feel well yesterday and I just got this ominous feeling that I need to get ready. I need to be ready to work from bed rest at any minute. We have to get the house in order. I have a plan to be ready January 1 and hopefully the baby will cooperate and if I have to go on bed rest, it won't be before then. That will put me at 23 weeks which is two weeks shy of when I started having problems the last time. My hope is that over my Thanksgiving break we can FINALLY finish the floor in the bedroom and get it all back in order and get the garage done. Then over the Christmas break we can get the baby's room done and the playroom and new office space done. Then once we get our tax refund, we'll be able to put the cabinets in the laundry room and reorganize the kitchen. Let's see, I don't know why I'm so anxious about needing to be ready. I guess because it came out of nowhere the last time. I'm trying to have some control this time around.
Many Thoughts
I've been feeling kind of sad lately and haven't had much time for posting. I'm sure it is just pregnancy hormones and my natural depression. But lately I've been crying at everything. A tornado touched down near my home very early Saturday morning. Luckily it was not close enough to cause any damage in my area, but 2 people did die. One was a little boy. DP brought DS in bed with us, just in case we had to head to a closet and then God Bless her, she stayed awake until the danger passed while DS and I tried to rest. Then I watched the news of all the people in California who have suffered through fires and great losses. It has all made me cry. But of course with the state of affairs in the world, no wonder God is angry. Why can't we see the warnings? We have to take better care of the planet.
And then it seems a lot of people in the blogging and NWA world are suffering as well. It breaks my heart. There have been a few comments lately about people having a hard time sharing in the joys some of us are experiencing. I totally understand that. I'm feeling guilty about sharing my joy. But then I realize that is just silly. I don't want those people to hide their hurt and I know I shouldn't hide my joy.
I've been trying to keep up with blogs and comments, but I'm very busy at work and so I don't have much time. For that reason, I am praying here specifically for the following people:
Tammy - as she struggles with new and sad news
Mandy - as she struggles with grief and loss and hope for the future
Shari - as she goes through some life changing events
Cindy - as she struggles with depression
I pray that they will find the peace and happiness they deserve.
There are a lot of other random things I want to talk about. One is the Barbara Walter's special on Thomas Beatty. I hate the way Barbara acted. I hate all the people who can't understand that some people are just different. I hate the DJ's on our local radio station who just this morning, without really coming out and saying it, implied that Thomas was just plain weird. Hate is a strong word, I know. I shouldn't hate. But I do. Granted, I'm a lesbian, part of the "family" and even I don't "get" the who transgendered thing. But the only reason I don't get it is because I've not felt it, not walked a mile in their shoes. I no more "get" why I'm a lesbian except to say that it is who I am and how I feel. And that's how transgendered people feel. They probably don't get it either. They just know what feels right to them. And why does that have to be bad? I will say I am thankful for Stephanie Brill from Maia Midwives in California for being so nonchalant when Barbara interviewed her. She really gave Barbara a calm and cool so who the fuck cares attitude. I'm grateful to Stephanie for her book which was instrumental in helping DP and I conceive our children. I even wrote to her and thanked her - lol - just a side note there. Got a reply back too!
I missed Tammy Etheridge on Oprah, but according to her blog she dissed her gay people. I guess I'm going to have to google it or something.
And here's a totally random thought. I've finally figured out why so many non-handicapped people use the handicapped stall at work. It's been bugging me for a while. Let me give a little background first though - I can't tell a short story. So there is only one bathroom in our building and it is downstairs. It's cold, but not bad. The stalls are roomy. In the building next door there is another bathroom on the second floor. We can get to it by a little crosswalk that connects the buildings on the second floor. One is covered, one is not. It's actually closer for us to go next door. But it's a smaller, cramped bathroom. Ever been in one of those stall where your knees can touch the door? It's almost like that. So I've gotten a bit bigger and now it's hard for me to get in the stall and close the door without having my legs brush up against the toilet. Of course I have pants on, but it still grosses me out. So the other day, I went in the handicapped stall because it is bigger. Oh and I should mention, I never do that anywhere because I'm always so sure that a handicapped person will be waiting when I get out. And I would feel terrible. But as best I know, there is no one handicapped in either building. So okay, I go in, and what do you know? It's the toilet paper. It's different. It's individual rolls and not one of those super sized things in the locked dispenser. And it's nicer toilet paper too. So I check out the bathroom downstairs where there are 2 handicapped stalls. And guess what, same nicer toilet paper. No wonder everyone likes those stalls! Well now I do too. I figure my poor pregnant, hemorrhoid ass deserves it!
And on that note I will go back to work!
And then it seems a lot of people in the blogging and NWA world are suffering as well. It breaks my heart. There have been a few comments lately about people having a hard time sharing in the joys some of us are experiencing. I totally understand that. I'm feeling guilty about sharing my joy. But then I realize that is just silly. I don't want those people to hide their hurt and I know I shouldn't hide my joy.
I've been trying to keep up with blogs and comments, but I'm very busy at work and so I don't have much time. For that reason, I am praying here specifically for the following people:
Tammy - as she struggles with new and sad news
Mandy - as she struggles with grief and loss and hope for the future
Shari - as she goes through some life changing events
Cindy - as she struggles with depression
I pray that they will find the peace and happiness they deserve.
There are a lot of other random things I want to talk about. One is the Barbara Walter's special on Thomas Beatty. I hate the way Barbara acted. I hate all the people who can't understand that some people are just different. I hate the DJ's on our local radio station who just this morning, without really coming out and saying it, implied that Thomas was just plain weird. Hate is a strong word, I know. I shouldn't hate. But I do. Granted, I'm a lesbian, part of the "family" and even I don't "get" the who transgendered thing. But the only reason I don't get it is because I've not felt it, not walked a mile in their shoes. I no more "get" why I'm a lesbian except to say that it is who I am and how I feel. And that's how transgendered people feel. They probably don't get it either. They just know what feels right to them. And why does that have to be bad? I will say I am thankful for Stephanie Brill from Maia Midwives in California for being so nonchalant when Barbara interviewed her. She really gave Barbara a calm and cool so who the fuck cares attitude. I'm grateful to Stephanie for her book which was instrumental in helping DP and I conceive our children. I even wrote to her and thanked her - lol - just a side note there. Got a reply back too!
I missed Tammy Etheridge on Oprah, but according to her blog she dissed her gay people. I guess I'm going to have to google it or something.
And here's a totally random thought. I've finally figured out why so many non-handicapped people use the handicapped stall at work. It's been bugging me for a while. Let me give a little background first though - I can't tell a short story. So there is only one bathroom in our building and it is downstairs. It's cold, but not bad. The stalls are roomy. In the building next door there is another bathroom on the second floor. We can get to it by a little crosswalk that connects the buildings on the second floor. One is covered, one is not. It's actually closer for us to go next door. But it's a smaller, cramped bathroom. Ever been in one of those stall where your knees can touch the door? It's almost like that. So I've gotten a bit bigger and now it's hard for me to get in the stall and close the door without having my legs brush up against the toilet. Of course I have pants on, but it still grosses me out. So the other day, I went in the handicapped stall because it is bigger. Oh and I should mention, I never do that anywhere because I'm always so sure that a handicapped person will be waiting when I get out. And I would feel terrible. But as best I know, there is no one handicapped in either building. So okay, I go in, and what do you know? It's the toilet paper. It's different. It's individual rolls and not one of those super sized things in the locked dispenser. And it's nicer toilet paper too. So I check out the bathroom downstairs where there are 2 handicapped stalls. And guess what, same nicer toilet paper. No wonder everyone likes those stalls! Well now I do too. I figure my poor pregnant, hemorrhoid ass deserves it!
And on that note I will go back to work!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
My soap box
It is a shame that in a country where:
We passed the 13th amendment abolishing slavery,
We passed the 19th amendment giving women the right to vote,
We passed the Title IX Act giving women equality in education and collegiate sports,
We passed the Civil Rights Act and ended segregation,
We had a woman and a bi-racial man battle it out for the Democratic nomination for President,
We had a SECOND woman on the ticket for Vice-President,
It is a shame that ON THE VERY DAY we elect our first non-white President, ON THAT VERY DAY, we vote to take away the civil rights of another group.
Shame on California and every other state that has voted to deny me and my "family" across the country the rights to share in the very basic freedoms this country is supposed to offer. My hero Margaret Marshall, Chief Justice of the Massachusetts State Supreme Court, wrote the assenting opinion when Massachusetts legalized gay marriage in 2004. She basically said that the constitution provides that "all men are created equal" and that by man our forefathers meant "mankind" not just white men. The constitution also provided for a separation of church and state. If you want to make this about God and the Bible, fine. But keep it out of my right as a US citizen to be treated like everyone else
Whoopie Goldberg said yesterday that her faith in America has been restored and maybe she could unpack her bag now. Hold on Whoopie. If the rumors about you are true, I'd keep that bag packed baby! Our country has basically a-okayed the persecution of gays and lesbians everywhere.
And the saddest past of all...I could give a damn about me. I'm a big girl and I can take anything a M-F'ing bigot has to throw at me. It's the children I weep for. Mine and my "family's" and all the children in foster care who will be denied a good home with a loving family.
So don't unpack your bags yet my friends. And watch out for burning crosses in your yard. This is a sad, sad state of affairs.
We passed the 13th amendment abolishing slavery,
We passed the 19th amendment giving women the right to vote,
We passed the Title IX Act giving women equality in education and collegiate sports,
We passed the Civil Rights Act and ended segregation,
We had a woman and a bi-racial man battle it out for the Democratic nomination for President,
We had a SECOND woman on the ticket for Vice-President,
It is a shame that ON THE VERY DAY we elect our first non-white President, ON THAT VERY DAY, we vote to take away the civil rights of another group.
Shame on California and every other state that has voted to deny me and my "family" across the country the rights to share in the very basic freedoms this country is supposed to offer. My hero Margaret Marshall, Chief Justice of the Massachusetts State Supreme Court, wrote the assenting opinion when Massachusetts legalized gay marriage in 2004. She basically said that the constitution provides that "all men are created equal" and that by man our forefathers meant "mankind" not just white men. The constitution also provided for a separation of church and state. If you want to make this about God and the Bible, fine. But keep it out of my right as a US citizen to be treated like everyone else
Whoopie Goldberg said yesterday that her faith in America has been restored and maybe she could unpack her bag now. Hold on Whoopie. If the rumors about you are true, I'd keep that bag packed baby! Our country has basically a-okayed the persecution of gays and lesbians everywhere.
And the saddest past of all...I could give a damn about me. I'm a big girl and I can take anything a M-F'ing bigot has to throw at me. It's the children I weep for. Mine and my "family's" and all the children in foster care who will be denied a good home with a loving family.
So don't unpack your bags yet my friends. And watch out for burning crosses in your yard. This is a sad, sad state of affairs.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A little fun
For Tammy, because you asked!
1. Where is your cell phone? Hip
2. Where is your significant other? Home
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Evil
5. Your father? Alzhiemer's
6. Your favorite thing? Child
7. Your dream last night? Forgotten
8. Your dream/goal? Happy
9. The room you're in? Office
10. Your hobby? Dogs
11. Your fear? Death
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Beach
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Happy
15. One of your wish list items? Health
16. Where you grew up? Massachusetts
17. The last thing you did? Ate
18. What are you wearing? Suit
19. Your T.V.? On
20. Your pet? Comfort
21. Your computer? Slow
22. Your mood? Depressed
23. Missing someone? Yes
24. Your car? Suzuki
25. Something you're not wearing? Scarf
26. Favorite store? Walmart
27. Your Summer? Short
28. Love someone? Yes
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday
1. Where is your cell phone? Hip
2. Where is your significant other? Home
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Evil
5. Your father? Alzhiemer's
6. Your favorite thing? Child
7. Your dream last night? Forgotten
8. Your dream/goal? Happy
9. The room you're in? Office
10. Your hobby? Dogs
11. Your fear? Death
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Beach
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Happy
15. One of your wish list items? Health
16. Where you grew up? Massachusetts
17. The last thing you did? Ate
18. What are you wearing? Suit
19. Your T.V.? On
20. Your pet? Comfort
21. Your computer? Slow
22. Your mood? Depressed
23. Missing someone? Yes
24. Your car? Suzuki
25. Something you're not wearing? Scarf
26. Favorite store? Walmart
27. Your Summer? Short
28. Love someone? Yes
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday
Monday, November 3, 2008
It's Monday
And a rainy one at that! We had a beautiful weekend though - it was sunny and in the 70's both days! It was a nice treat after the very cold week and frost we had! I lost most of my basil in the frost. The garden is too big - I have nothing to cover it with and I just didn't get out there soon enough to pick it all - honestly there was just too much anyway - I have a field of basil!! Someday I'll be able to afford a little greenhouse window. I've seen them, but I think they are about a thousand dollars or so. Yikes.
We didn't do much. Got our shopping done on Saturday and finally a big boy haircut for DS. I cried and scooped up every curl and ringlet into a baggie as the lady cut them. DS was so good though so he got to get a couple of videos afterwards at Walmart. He chose himself - it was so cute, he walked around and around the sale display. He chose the election edition of School House Rock - I was so thrilled. I love School House Rock! I'm totally from that generation of kids!! And then he chose a 2 pack of All Dogs Go To Heaven and Fletch somebody or other. He loves dogs! Well we watched the first one yesterday and I think it was too old for him and way too sad. I cried at the end!
Around this time of year this really neat thing happens at our house. It happens every year without fail. Birds, tons and tons of birds, fly over our house in the evenings around 5 pm or so. I am assuming they are heading further south, for although it's not bad here, we certainly are not Florida! It's amazing. We have about 2 acres of land so I would say the flocks are about an acre wide. And the always fly over our house - same direction, same formation. Year after year. We've been here 6 falls now. We live in a fairly big subdivision so they could fly a little to the left or right and fly over someone else's house. But they don't. It's amazing. And it really is a pretty sight. I wish I knew where they were going and why they fly that same exact path.
We didn't get much housework done this weekend and didn't work on the floor. DP is not feeling well - bad headaches. And I'm just too damn tired. I've got to pick it up this week. I know I keep saying that. Maybe if I say it enough it will happen? Ha. My mother called and wants to come over next weekend. Ugh. I haven't called her back. I'd better work hard around the house and get DP in a good mood for that one!!
We didn't do much. Got our shopping done on Saturday and finally a big boy haircut for DS. I cried and scooped up every curl and ringlet into a baggie as the lady cut them. DS was so good though so he got to get a couple of videos afterwards at Walmart. He chose himself - it was so cute, he walked around and around the sale display. He chose the election edition of School House Rock - I was so thrilled. I love School House Rock! I'm totally from that generation of kids!! And then he chose a 2 pack of All Dogs Go To Heaven and Fletch somebody or other. He loves dogs! Well we watched the first one yesterday and I think it was too old for him and way too sad. I cried at the end!
Around this time of year this really neat thing happens at our house. It happens every year without fail. Birds, tons and tons of birds, fly over our house in the evenings around 5 pm or so. I am assuming they are heading further south, for although it's not bad here, we certainly are not Florida! It's amazing. We have about 2 acres of land so I would say the flocks are about an acre wide. And the always fly over our house - same direction, same formation. Year after year. We've been here 6 falls now. We live in a fairly big subdivision so they could fly a little to the left or right and fly over someone else's house. But they don't. It's amazing. And it really is a pretty sight. I wish I knew where they were going and why they fly that same exact path.
We didn't get much housework done this weekend and didn't work on the floor. DP is not feeling well - bad headaches. And I'm just too damn tired. I've got to pick it up this week. I know I keep saying that. Maybe if I say it enough it will happen? Ha. My mother called and wants to come over next weekend. Ugh. I haven't called her back. I'd better work hard around the house and get DP in a good mood for that one!!
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