Confusion

It's funny how I am very black and white when it comes to things. I'm a follow the rules, by the book, never anything in between kind of person. Yet DP's hot and cold personality drives me nuts. But I guess it is really two different things.

Last night was a bad night, this morning not much better. But then we had a lovely family lunch. They had to drive me to work this morning and DP hung out with the kids so all my work mates could see them and then we had lunch with a friend. DP and the kids headed over to one of the quads near the freshmen residences and DS played and ran around. It was a lovely lunch and nice to have the kids here.

A far cry from last night when I was certain that I could not take another thing. Of course that feeling is still there. There are moments when I am ready to just give up and give in to the evil depression monster. And then I look at the faces of my children and wonder how could I destroy their lives with my selfish actions and someone how I go on.

I wish this afternon could have lasted forever. No fighting, just laughter and fun.