Quick Update

It's been busy around here! I took last Friday off to make it a 4 day weekend. We got the kitchen and laundry room floor scrubbed and sealed and put back together. The living room floor work starts Saturday! I have company coming on the 4th of July for a week and I am praying that the downstairs will be done by then. We had some family time this weekend, but with gas prices, opted not to go far from home. My mom stressed me out this week. She called Thursday night to tell me that my aunt would be in town Saturday-Monday. Apparently she was on her way north for the summer and was planning to stop over Saturday night just to sleep but then changed her mind. My mom wanted to get together. This is one of the aunts who we confided in and she turned on us and thinks we're too harsh on my mom. She hasn't spoken to me in almost a year. She always hated my father, even stayed with us last time she was here so she wouldn't have to deal with him. Anyway, we had plans for the weekend so I said no, sorry, we can't get together. Boy was my mom pissed, you could here her whole voice and tone change on the phone. She said "I'll have auntie call you when she gets here". Like that is going to intimidate me into changing my mind? Our nephew was supposed to be coming down with his girlfriend again (they ended up not coming but we didn't know that until Saturday). I don't know how you can expect to call someone at the last minute and want them to drop all their plans for you. So then Sunday my aunt calls our house (not the cell because of course I would answer that!) and leaves this message and you can hear she's annoyed: "hello, I heard you had company so I won't get to see you this trip". She basically stated verbatum what I said to my mom. Then she thought she'd hung up the phone, but hadn't and started talking to my mom and it recorded on our machine. In a really nasty voice she said "There, how was that?" It just goes to show me that my mom forced my aunt to call and she didn't really want to. They are all so annoying, my mom for manipulating people and my aunt for giving in to it. I didn't even call back, but I saved the message so if they say anything to me I can see "see got ya". I had a long talk with my borther about it Monday night. He hates my parents - he was even more affected than me by all the verbal and emotional abuse and my mom hit him more than she hit me. I tried to be perfect and stay out of her way so I managed to escape with only a few beatings in my life - my brother took a few more. Anyway, I told him that I am very close to telling her to forget she has a daughter. He keeps telling me that DP and my son are all that matter and I deserve to be happy now. It's so complicated. I'm so busy at work and home that I don't even have the energy to write about it properly. I need someone to talk to - do I go back to therapy? I have so many problems in my relationship. DP is a very moody and short tempered person. She runs hot and cold from one minute to the next. I'm falling apart from the stress of pleasing her and trying to please my mom. But the truth is, the honest ugly truth is that I don't even care if I never saw my parents again. I only care selfishly about having to live with the guilt of that. But I honestly don't miss them, I hate being around them. I don't know what to do, rambling here doesn't help, it only stresses me out more. I hate reading the blogs, everyone is always so happy and positive. My blog is depressing. My mind is in a constant fog, I'm constantly tired and sad and stressed. It's not healthy for me or my relationship. My only bright spot is the baby - his very presence lifts me up. But everything around us is a struggle. His b-day is coming up and my mom is going to maybe want to see him - the just for show thing again and DP ruled this weekend that my mom is no longer welcome - I can go see her if I want but that's it. I'm surrounded by control freaks. DP told me I had to choose her or my mom and that if I chose my mom she would take her son with her. I want to say I choose no one and run far far away with the baby. I need to snap out of it and make some decisions and take a stand. I hate conflict but it's finally time to face it head on.