I give up

DP came home this morning. She couldn't get a flight out yesterday. I worked hard while she was gone. I washed the carpet and cleaned up and organized in the playroom. Washed half of the hallway and landing carpet (it's a huge area for a hall and landing!) and scrubbed the baby's bathroom and hung a wall paper border. I washed the kitchen, laundry room, and half bath floors. Washed the living room floor. Dusted and did laundry. Changed the bed sheets. All this while watching the baby and yesterday working from home and taking baby to the doctor. Oh and taking care of the animals - cleaned their crates, swept the dog hairs, etc. I washed some windows and let me tell you - it took hours to shampoo that carpet. It's a big room.

Well nothing, and I mean nothing was done to DP's standards. I picked her up at the airport and she and the baby dropped me off at work. She was as sweet as pie until she got home. She's called me 10 times and when I say yelled - I can't even begin to describe it. I ran short on the wall paper - need to get more - she yelled about that. She yelled because apparently my brother used white caulk somewhere when he should have used brown. I was supposed to be watching him - like what?? I was watching the baby, watching the dogs, cleaning the dishes. She yelled because she can't find the pole to the paint roller. Oh, she yelled because I put clothes in the washer and left the door open. I put them in the washer rather than leaving them on the floor. I did not run the machine before I left the house because I did not want the clothes to sit wet in the washer all day. We have a new washer and dryer and the intructions say you can get a bad smell if you don't take the clothes out right away and let the drum dry. That's why I left the door open. It's NO BIG DEAL. And she yelled about the way my brother put up the new trim around the door. He left too much room at the bottom? It looks fine. It just needs to be caulked and painted and you'll never know the puppy chewed it.

I am sick to my stomach right now and am fighting back the tears because I am at work. I came in late so I'm not taking a lunch. My head hurts so much right now. And on top of all the screaming she also screams out that she never wanted to come home anyway.

I was so proud of all the work I did while she was away. I was wishing I could have done more. I wanted to get to the store and get more wall paper, but it was hard to juggle it all. I'm pretty lazy, but I really tried to do alot - yes I could have done more. On Saturday I did watch some tv. But I stayed up late at night so I could get alot done while the baby slept. You can't do anything when he is up. He touches everything and anything.

I was so proud for her to see how hard I worked. And now I feel like crap. What did I waste my time for. Heck I could have done nothing and played all weekend. Then at least I would have deserved the yelling. Could I have done more? Yes, I'm sure I could have. The carpet took hours and hours to clean. When my cat died she had missed the litter box a couple of times in those last few days. I really went over that area alot. I'm sure I could have worked a little faster on some things and of course if I kept up with cleaning on a regular basis, it wouldn't be so much to get done now.

It's funny, I missed her while she was gone. She said she missed me. But at the same time I was fine without her.

And now she's sending me pictures on the phone like nothing. But then will call me in 10 minutes to yell some more about something else she's seen that is not up to her standard. This is how her family is - they are very explosive. A few days ago I wrote that I just needed to accept that this is what life is going to be like. But after several days of peace and quiet I'm not so sure I can continue to live like this. We'll see how things go later. I'm taking the bus home and she'll have to pick me up. It'll be a while before I have the privacy for a good cry.

I really thought she would see how hard I worked. She hasn't said one nice thing at all.