So-so weekend

Life is so-so at my house. The weekend had some good points and some bad points and DP has already called me at work to yell at me about some transgression or other of mine. And then she gets pissed because I refuse to talk to her about it. I don't know how many times I have told her that she can not call me at work and expect to "discuss" her frustrations with me. Her discussions are just yelling and yelling and yelling at me which eventually reduce me to tears. And I can't cry at work. I have no privacy here.

It's all the usual hypocritical stuff. This weekend she put 2 cases of her soda in the fridge. We don't have a big fridge and it took up a lot of space. I asked her if it was necessary to put both cases in there. She was pissed that I dare question her in her own house. She said how would I feel if she questioned me about things I did. I couldn't say anything because I didn't want to start a war. But just that morning she questioned me repeatedly about giving the baby his vitamin. She questions me constantly. She berates me constantly.

Why am I staying.

Then today she's pissed at me because apparently I'm not handling the calls to Legal Aid correctly. I'm doing all of this for her. I work full time and take private time away from the office (I have to go outside to make a private call) to get all of this stuff organized for her. She's at home all day. And she doesn't do anything. I have to make all the doctor appointments. I've had to take time off from work to attend appointments with both her and the baby. Plus all my own stuff. She does not see any of that. All she sees is that I don't do the housework. Maybe I'm tired of having to manage at work and then manage the household too. Today I'm scheduling flu shots, refilling prescriptions, talking to the attorney, returning a broken baby monitor. Saturday she had a fit because we - or should I say me, because I got all the blame - forgot to buy a lottery ticket. Getting rich quick is her biggest obsession. So what if we don't play the lottery one time. But it was the end of the world and just another example of how I'm not responsible. And today she told me I was no mother to my child. I'm not sure what I did to earn that comment.

I try to forgive her because I realize that she is ill. Mentally and physically. But how much abuse can one person take. I'm so tired of listening to her say that I'm the one abusing her because I expect her to do everything and don't help enough around the house. I think I do more than my fair share at a 40 hour a week job plus 10 hours of commuting. I can tell you right now, all she does is watch the baby, cook every other night and take the dogs out. There is no way she puts in as much work as I do at the office.

But we aren't going to get anywhere with the "I do more" game. We just each dig our heels in deeper. So she hung up on me. She's pissed and I want to cry.

This is no way to live. But watch, it'll be over and she'll be nice again. That's how it is.