Not good at updating

Well, I'm not doing a good job so far of writing. It's been busy at work and I never have time at home to write. It's been an emotional week - it was really strange not to go to the doctor for a clomid check this month. I'm still temping and charting since if we do this again it will be on our own and without drugs - so I do want to keep in tume with my cycle and what my body is doing. I'm already noticing temps to be way lower without the clomid. I've been pretty depressed in spite of trying to talk myself into a positive attitude. The house is a mess and I'm so tired all the time. I really just want to eat and sleep and am trying to pull myself together for the baby. My brother has left us high and dry in the middle of putting the new floors in and won't be back to work on it some more for another 2 weeks. The laundry room is all moved around, the kitchen is in the dining room, I can't get to things to dust and clean...I'm overwhelmed. But it will be beautiful when finally done. I hope he does the laminate flooring faster - the ceramic tile is taking forever. But again, how can I complain when he got me all the materials at about 80% off and is doing the labor for free? But the mess, it's getting to me big time!!

I need to lose weight - I need to take advantage of this time off and get in shape, lose a few pounds, it will probably help. And I doubt they will take me on for IVF at this weight. I need to get out of my funk and get focused on my goals.

Work is oh so stressful, DP and I fight alot. No wonder I'm not getting pregnant. This wasn't supposed to be a stressful job. In fact the work really isn't stressful at all and is quite enjoyable. I have great bosses. It's my staff. I have major personnel issues. I hate it - it makes me want to stay at home sometimes and not come in at all!

It's a vicious circle. I'm so drained emotionally from stress, physically from being overweight, I'm too tired when I get home to excercise, too tired to get out of bed in the morning, so then I just get more depressed, eat more, and feel worse than the day before. I don't know how to break it...