CD 25 DPO 12

Well, it's nice to not have to think of catchy titles for a change! So yesterday DP really wanted me to stop after class and pick up a pg test. I finally agreed and stopped at Food Lion. It is the only thing I bought and right away the check out lady was like "Ooh, honey do you want it to be a yes or a no?" I said "Oh, a yes, most definitely a yes." And she smiled and told me she would pray for me. Mind you this has happened before - in fact it happened almost every month of TTC when I would buy a test at Food Lion. At Walmart no one ever says anything. And honestly, I don't think they should say anything. But this is the South and I guess the ladies at Food Lion are different. Babies are good things! On Wednesday, on the van pool, this Italian lady who I just love, asked me if I was ever going to try again (she knows about the miscarriage) and I just smiled and said I hoped to someday. And then this morning one of my staff members was talking to me about how she's worried she's not going to have enough leave for maternity leave (they haven't even started trying yet, but she's one of those super planners) and I told her about the shared leave plan and she was like "Oh are you going to try to have another one?" And I said yes, if that's what God intended.

It's so funny that so many people would just out of the blue bring it up here at the almost end of my TWW. So back to last night. I was feeling kinda crappy and DP kept saying she was sure I was pregnant, there was no way it could be PMS. I told her I didn't want to get my hopes up, that it really was still too early. I didn't test positive until day 28 with DS and here it is only day 24. But to humor her I said I would test Friday morning with FMU. Well last night I was feeling worse and DP begged me to test the next time I had to pee. I really didn't want to, I'm not ready to be disappointed I told her. Please, let's wait until day 28. If I don't have the telltale CM, I'll be happy and more confident. I reminded her too about the month I lost the baby. Testing positive even though I had the telltale CM and then having my period start the next day. I so am not ready to go through that again!

But I caved, yes, I caved and I went and tested. I left the stick in the bathroom, it was too much to stand there and watch it for 3 minutes! After about 10 minutes I walked back into the bathroom. I took a deep breath, turned on the light, and walked over to the counter. I couldn't even pick the stick up, I was so nervous, so not ready for what I was sure I was going to see.

And then I looked. And the tears were instant. And I thanked the Food Lion lady for her prayers. And I praised God for this blessing, for this gift, for this joy after so many heartaches.

And then I brought my BFP pregnancy test into the kitchen to show DP.

Yes, it's a BFP. A BFP. I'm over the moon happy, scared to death too. I'm cautiously hopeful, cautiously happy. AF will not officially be late for another 3 days. I tested again this morning and I swear the line was lighter so that makes me a little bit nervous.

And now I'm waiting for my ob's office to call me back. I need to get an appointment now to go over the plan for trying to prevent another pre-term rupture of membranes. But the receptionist won't give you an appointment until 8 weeks. I had to leave a message for the nurse. Hopefully they will get me in soon. I have to do everything possible to make it to 34 weeks with this pregnancy.

I'm still having those twinges, they are not cramps, but it's a little pinching feeling that I did not have ever before. It's making me nervous. We told my boss just now. I called DP on speaker phone and we told her together. She was very excited!! We are not telling anyone else. It's too soon. And I only told my boss now "just in case" I have to be out or something happens!! She is very supportive!!

I pray this baby sticks and I can have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. Please God, hear my prayer!!

3 weeks, 3 days pregnant. Due date is April 28, 2009. Two days before my 40th b-day. The most perfect gift.