Still in shock

I haven't written in a few days. I've kind of been at a loss for words over here. I'm still in shock that I am actually pregnant. Someone on the NW board was questioning the "let down" or the change in going from the obsession of getting pregnant to the sudden calm of being pregnant. I liken it to a co-dependent relationship. It's bad for you but you miss it when it is gone! It was weird not to temp today or log on to FF to record every little thing!

I'm feeling a little depressed too. I'm so overwhelmed by all the work and remodeling going on at the house. Everything is such a mess and in such disaray and I'm tired, too tired to deal with it. Somehow I have to get the office/junk room cleaned out and prepared. I should be overjoyed, but at this moment I am overwhelmed. DP is mad at me for my lack of effort - what's new, that's the same old fight. But we just don't agree on how to arrange the house. I want to keep the same nursery and move DS to a new, big boy room. DP wants to leave DS in his current room and update it and then make a whole new nursery in the second room. Really, do we have to spend double the money? I think I'm avoiding cleaning up and organizing because I know there will be fights because we each will want it our own way. Someone please, in my next life remind me to be the ONLY control freak in the relationship - lol.

I've also been trying to figure out how to do a public blog that will be fit to read. Am I the only person in the world with all these relationship problems, yet still stick it out and make a life together? I don't have the time to keep up with 2 blogs, but I want to still be able to vent and be honest about my life and what I go through, yet I can't have family reading it. On the other hand I'd like to share the pregnancy journey with family from out of state - namely DP's family since this child has that biological connection.

DP told her family this weekend and they all took it well. I'm so happy about that!

So yes, there's a lot going on, as always, a lot on my mind....