The roller coaster that is my life

So last night my mom leaves a message and she wants to take the baby for ice cream on Sunday. Mind you things are rocky, but we had that big talk and I thought things would get better. Should have known that it wouldn't be that easy. DP still hates her. She says the talk does not make everything all better. Okay fine, but give the woman some credit for calling ahead of time and asking if we were free. But there is DP still complaining about how the message was left, what she thinks my mom's intentions are, what an idiot she is to think hanging in an ice cream parlor would be fun for a 2 year old. Again I say gee, at least the woman is making an effort. Right away DP says no we won't go. I'm sick of her deciding what I can and can not do with my son. So last night was a little rough. Then today she calls me at work to say that nephew called and wants to come visit this weekend. Hmmm. His dad is the one dying of liver cancer and supposedly he was depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone and that's why he blew us off. Okay, I get it, I'm not heartless, I do understand. But anyway...

But me the agreeable one says of course I don't mind if he comes over. Then DP brings up the plans my mom wants to make. She surprises me by suggesting that we meet my mom someplace where the baby will have more fun. But first she wants to go to our favorite lake to take the baby to swim and meet my mom and dad later in the day. I think it's a grand idea. So this is what I mean, why I am so torn. DP can have these wonderful moments where she can compromise fairly. It will be a great day. But why did she have to be so ugly last night? I'm starting to wonder if DP has some strange mood disorder. Little by little here in my blog I hope I can make sense of it all. I ramble I know, but I'm just trying to get it all out there.

One of our dogs is really sick. He was at the vet all day yesterday - he was vomiting and had diarrhea. He ended up having to get IV fluids, had a bunch of test, but they can't find anything. He's resting at home today but still not looking good. I have a nice vet thought and we've already talked today and they actually think he's on the mend. So we'll see. I have to keep calling with his stats - amount he tries to eat and drink, bathroom trips, etc to determine if he needs to go back for more IV fluids or x-rays. He's a nervous dog and they had to give him a sedative to work on him so he's still a bit loopy. Poor little thing - he was badly abused before we took him in and even with all our love he has issues.

Okay so here's some more venting: DP thinks she does everything around the house. She's always been that way. I thinks she has self esteem problems and builds herself up with lies and by putting others down. Here's my day:

5:20 am - alarm goes off, hit snooze and listen to weather and traffic on tv
5:30 am - second alarm, get up, go potty
5:35 am - start taking dogs out, 2 inside dogs go potty one at a time out back, must wait with them, one is small, the other hates to be alone, then take 4 big dogs out, if they are going to kennels on a nice day must walk them down one at a time on leash because they fight, clean up poops in each kennel, clean and fill water buckets every other day (conserving water due to drought), walk to and from house and kennels 4 times. if they are staying in because of bad weather, put each dog out one at a time on tie out. fill water dishes and luckily between each dog other morning duties can be completed. otherwise they are done after kennel runs.
6:10 am - start or finish other morning duties depending on dogs, these duties are, put lunch together, put out dp's pills (wich she could take the little weekly pill cases out of the cabinet herself but she can't, vent, vent), make dp coffee and bring to her in bed, make sure sink is clean, give dogs treat and pills for nervous dog.
6:20 am - hopefully by now heading to shower, quickly shower, wash hair every other day to conserve water, brush teeth, deoderant, face cream, hair gel and tie long hair up in clip, quick makeup to hide rosacea red face otherwise i would skip it, dress, perfume, shoes
6:40 am - must be pulling out of driveway by this time otherwise if i hit every red light i will not make bus, lipstick applied while car warms up
6:55 am - arrive to bus parking lot
7:02 am - bus leaves
7:30 am - arrive at work, work all day, take 30 minute lunch and eat at desk unless meeting a friend
5:00 pm - go to bus
5:40 pm - arrive at parking lot if no traffic
6:00 pm - usually home by this time, go in house, kiss baby, change clothes, bring dogs in from kennels if outside and feed, or feed and put out if they were inside, pick up poop in yard if needed
6:30 - pm sit down to dinner if dp has cooked, prepare plates and serve dinner if it is leftovers, eat and feed baby
7:00 pm - play with baby
8:00 pm - baby bedtime, change, brush teeth, read stories, cuddle
NOW START SECOND JOB
8:00 pm - 11 pm - clean kitchen from dinner which will also include breakfast and lunch dishes that dp leaves there even though she is at home all day, empty dishwasher, refill, clean counters, make lunch and put in fridge for next day, serve dp coffee and dessert and pills, prepare clothes for next day, put all dogs out around 9, attend to chores needing to be done such as laundry, vacuum, etc.
11 pm - 5:20 am - sleep with tv on because dp rules, toss and turn, wake up when tv is turned up louder or dogs bark or baby cries, listen to dp snore

Now, when dp was working and I was at home....here was dp's morning:
2:15 am - wake up dp when my alarm goes off, get up and make her lunch and coffee while she goes potty and smokes and showers and dresses in clothes that i have ironed and prepared the night before or that morning, put out inside dogs, and sometimes outside dogs if they wake up (they sleep in garage)
3:00 am - dp leaves for first shift job at airport, I go back to sleep before baby was born, after baby was born, well then he was getting up for a feeding

Notice a difference? When I was at home I took care of everything so that dp could sleep extra since she had a long commute. I got up with her and helped her have a good morning and get out the door. What does she do for me now that she is at home? Nothing. I got a job as a nanny after she went back to work and I still got up at 2:15 and would go back to bed and get up at 7 to take care of the dogs and myself before I went to work at 9. After the baby was born I lost my job and then went back to work at a new one 3 months later. When we were both working I had to do my whole current morning routine plus get the baby fed and ready and take him to daycare before work. I had to get up at 4 am those days because it takes time to do day care drop off and I had a longer commute then.

So does the division of labor seem fair here on the weekdays? DP stays in bed until the baby gets up. At night she goes to the couch right after dinner and does not move until bed. During the day she does very little. I'll write about weekends tomorrow...almost time to catch the bus and start my second job.